My child the bully, lessons learned.
Does bullying even really exist in preschool and kindergarten? The answer is a very clear yes. You might wonder how children this age learn this behavior; I always assumed the blame rest on the parents. I was about to learn a hard lesson.
Before I had children of my own I often pictured the parents of a bully to be big bullies themselves, passing down the bully gene from generation to generation. After all, every sit-com and cartoon depicts the bully in school having a clone bully for a Dad that beat up on the nerdy kid’s Dad 30 years earlier.
When I researched “how to parent a child that is a bully” the first piece of advice was to lead by example. It was clear to me that I wasn’t the only parent who felt this way. My position would change drastically when I received this note in my 5-year-old daughter’s backpack.
It was just last week that Bianca was being extorted for money at school, the victim of bullying herself, you can follow that story here.
Why would she do this? Had her 5-year-old mind decided it was bully or be bullied, that if she were the bully then she would be on the safe side of the fence? I know this may sound awful but I’m kind of glad that the little boy punched her.
Either way there is no excuse. The next day I went in to her class to speak with her teacher and was mobbed by several little girls that told me Bianca was mean to them too! I was shocked to find out that this little boy wasn’t her only victim. She had been in several through downs, but the most recent incident with the little boy, was the only altercation that ended in a fist fight!
I didn’t even know this sort of thing happened in kindergarten. Bianca is now grounded. It’s true that I’m not sure what “grounded” even means for a 5 year-old. No cartoons or deserts until further notice? In addition I am headed off to go spy on her at lunch today.
I can’t help but feel like this is my fault, that I could be doing something more to show her the meaning of empathy, and the satisfaction in your heart that you get by being kind.