Apalachicola to Carrabelle Florida (Gulf Crossing Fail)

Carrabelle Florida

Aubrey steals a turtle from a child who had just stole it from a person’s yard. She then tries to hide it on our boat.

Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you planned. Today was one of those days. We left at a good time but the fuel took almost an hour to pump into our tanks. The seas were reported at 1-3 outside of the barrier islands in the gulf and we planned to make the crossing of 160 miles.

We made it along the ICW inside the barrier islands and I knew something wasn’t right. The waves were 2-3 with some occasional 4’s coming into the boat. I am still too much of a rookie to recognize a lot of weather patterns but I had a bad feeling so we dicked inside Carrabelle Florida.

We filled up at the C-Quarter Marina and I almost wrecked the boat coming in at low tide. It went out hard and the marina sits in a river that pulls a 5 knot cross current. You have to be fully committed to park your boat and I was. Luckily, we made it in OK and decided to stay after I consulted with the woman who ran the marina. The low-pressure system that had been hammering the Gulf for weeks was still lingering and the winds were kicking up larger seas than forecasted. It was sensible to just chalk up our 25 miles as a day, do some fishing and call it a day.

Carrabelle is a cute little island village. The people congregate around the shady part of this marina to watch the boaters wreck their boats. Seriously, that is what 8-10 men aged 40-80 do everyday. They sit around drinking beer and critique people. They don’t get up to help or do anything but commentate on the calamites as they occur. They occasionally award bonus points or issue loud heckles. They told me that I didn’t do that bad of a job as I went in to buy gas upon arrival. I couldn’t believe my ears because the boat almost got really screwed up and they didn’t even yell out a warning about the cross current. I told the salty old men to fuck off and we settled in for the night. No apologies were ever issued on either side but that’s OK.

Meet the 10 year old Huck Fin crime wave!

Meet the 9 year old Huck Fin crime wave!

We met several of the kids who came down to the marina and I can say that they will be in prison soon. Holy cow! We were getting the boat squared away and two little rug rats came up holding a land tortoise that weighed about 40 lbs. Aubrey’s dream is to get one of these things and apparently they live to be 100 or something. Anyway these two little boys aged around 9 came up with red faces saying they’d been pepper sprayed holding a tortious. Weird. Apparently, an older boy maced these little fools and one of the boys maced himself around the crouch area with a can that he tried to pull out for defense. Good thing we weren’t in South Central, it would be Mac 10’s.

Aubrey liberated the turtle from the boys after I got them to admit that they stole it from some man’s driveway. They wouldn’t take us back to the scene of the crime and later recanted the admission saying that they’d been carrying it around and feeding it for weeks at their house. Aubrey found out it was an indigenous species to Carrabelle called the Gopher Tortoise and it is now endangered because people love to make turtle soup.   Those stupid old men told her to throw it back in the water. She politely explained that it was a land dweller, like them and it couldn’t swim. They said that it belonged in the water and was better off there. She adopted it off to another man who said he would feed it and keep it in his back yard. He was an enemy of the other old men and they ridiculed him for taking it. I’m thinking that the turtle had a 50/50 chance of ending up as soup, but we tried to save it. Aubrey tried to hide it on the boat and we got into a fight over it. Adopting it to the old man was plan B for her, but it’s pretty hard to hard to hide a turtle of that size on our boat!

Huck Fin and his crew came back and forth throughout the day, usually wearing different stolen items that he jacked from who knows where. I saw him on different bikes, skateboards and other transportation. He asked for $1 for him and his friend to get some drinks while he was wearing some pink beats he likely stole from a little girl. I told him to drink salt water.

On the plus side, the old men who were out heckling boaters loved our kids.  Bianca went into the store to buy some gum with some boat cleaning money she earned and came back with a $30 fishing pole.  We thought she stole it, naturally.  Or worse yet, charged it to our slip.  Aubrey went to investigate and apparently the old men bought it for her because she was so cute and well spoken.  They warned us to leave before she married off to one of the crappy kids who frequented the marina.

Blake also made it out like a bandit after he lost his trusty fishing pole to a crab.  A nice old man built him one from used parts around the marina and it worked good as new.  He was truly grateful and I was happy that the old men weren’t was scary as they seemed.

We ended the night quietly fishing and a large Ford trucked pulled up. It was loaded down with nine rednecks that were coming down to the otherwise peaceful and nice dock. You guessed it; Hick Fin was in tow, sporting a huge dip in his lip. He informed us that his jaw would eventually fall off when the tobacco did its job. He brought his older kin to meet us and check out our stuff. Seriously.

Nice boat. Nice fishing poles. Nice wife. Nice guns, why do you have so many guns? Aw, shit Sir. Have a nice night. It was real nice to meet ya.  You won’t be seeing us again.

For the record, Onyx didn’t like them and she sat on the dock so they wouldn’t walk by. We told them that she hated kids and warned them that she had a real bad temper.

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