Miss Lone Star’s Crew Contracted Florida Key’s Disease!

Florida Keys Disease is real!

Florida Keys Disease is real!

We heard about Key’s Disease from several people since we arrived.  It is a general term that refers to many different things going wrong or attributes that one contracts after moving to the Florida Keys.  We were first warned by a boat broker who said a boat can get the disease after being moved here from fresh water.  Apparently, there are a lot of boats that get moved down here because it is the mecca of boating.  The owners don’t use them anymore.  These vessels fall into disrepair and get eaten up by the salt water while the owners goof off, drink beer and go diving.  Don’t let your boat get Keys Disease.

A dog can get Key’s Disease by misbehaving and not obeying commands because she doesn’t get the exploring time that she craves.  Onyx first started her bout with the illness by trying to make every dog on the dock love her.  She knocked Diesel the dog on our first night by playing too rough and she has made most of the small dogs run in fear of her from her smiling face.

We first noticed Key’s Disease in the kids a day after we arrived, sadly.  They became even more misbehaved and failed to listen to our advice.  Their timeout quota has risen significantly and they’ve given up much prized time at most of the landmarks we’ve visited.  Time out at the tide pool- check.  Time out on every beach- check.  Time out at the Overseas Bridge- check.  Time out at the commissary- check.  Time out on the blue water- check.  Timeout while fishing- done that too.  Blake fakes most of his nap times and arises only a few minutes after being dunked below for some quiet time.  Keys Disease defies logical explanation in our children.

Aubrey has a supreme case of Keys Disease which drives her to over do it most days resulting in fatigue and increased naps.  It get’s worse.  She want’s to sleep in and requires extra coffee in the mornings.  She’s forgot where most of her clothes are located and resorts to wearing bathing suits most of the day.  I caught here swimming off the dock while she was still wearing her jammie shorts and T-shirt from bedtime.  This occurred at 5PM.

Our blog readers know that something is wrong with me because I don’t write posts most days and I am averaging only one journal every week or so.  It doesn’t help that Aubrey fails to upload pictures and our journals are lacking her interesting photography and videos that they used to receive.  I’ve gotten a hundred or so comments or emails from our readers in the last couple weeks asking if we are OK or if we ran into trouble because there are no updates.  It’s Key’s Disease.  I lack motivation to do the things that I did easily on “the hard (dry land).”  I haven’t cleaned the head in a few weeks with the proper levels of sanitation required and I haven’t used Starbright to clean the deck of the boat every couple of days like I used to do.  I take an abnormally long time to get to know our new neighbors and friends and I know everyone’s first name.  I spend far too much time helping people out with chores or errands and we BBQ with our pals many nights each week.  We go to church almost every week and we’ve even made it to bible study.  It is sad that it’s come to this.

Other people experience symptoms such as: diving too much, drinking too much, excessive swimming, sand behind the ears, laziness, loss of time, etc.  Luckily we haven’t seen these problems at this point.  I am wondering if any of our readers have also experienced the symptoms of Key’s Disease and if there are any known cures?  Please help!

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